He is not supporting me…. or is he?

Our New Year retreat was a joyous occasion – dance and music, good company, time in nature and, of course, good food.  Yet it had its deep moments too.

During one group sharing, several women were moved to tears by the common experience of feeling unable to open into the fullness of their femininity because they feel unsupported by the masculine.

I offered the perspective that this is, in fact, a reciprocal process.  When a man feels pressure from the feminine rather than her opening and melting, he withdraws into passivity with thoughts such as, “She is never satisfied… She is always finding fault… I’m not good enough for her and I never will be.”

For both the feminine and masculine this pattern of mistrust and withdrawal seems to be one that is frequently, almost universally played out.

Jungian writer Robert Johnson has an insight here that offers hope of resolution.  Johnson says that so many troubles of our soul occur when levels of consciousness contaminate each other.

This is exactly what is happening here.  The archetypal level is contaminating the outer level.

It is not him who is unsupportive, it is her inner masculine archetype

A woman who feels this lack of support from her man will probably feel unsupported however attentive and efficacious he is in a practical or emotional way.  It is not him who is unsupportive, it is her inner masculine archetype which she has not yet embraced in an evolved and mature way. She projects her need for an inner King/Father/God archetype onto her all-too-human and fallible man and finds him falling short.  This the contamination between levels.

Such projection amounts to emotional abuse.  She will never find the support she is craving on the outside, at least in a healthy way.  Instead, she must do her inner work, find the inner union between her feminine and masculine aspects and find her own support within.

He will feel that pressure however loving and accepting his woman is

Likewise, for the man.  Most likely if he feels pressured and henpecked, he will feel that pressure however loving and accepting his woman is.  It is not her that is at fault.  He has inner work to do with his inner feminine archetypes to find his own inner union and free himself and his woman from his projection and contamination of the levels of consciousness.

The key both to emotional maturity and to harmonious and loving outer relationships

These are radical ideas.  They fly in the face of much of what is portrayed in contemporary media.  But radical solutions are needed and the internal work at the archetypal level that cultivates inner union between our masculine and feminine aspects holds the key both to emotional maturity and to harmonious and loving outer relationships.

An invitation

It is from this perspective, that we invite you to our next retreat, Meeting the inner beloved: bring more love into your lifeApril 3-5.

On this retreat, we will focus on that inner union between your inner masculine and inner feminine aspect and how that is the foundation of your outer relationships.  It is for anyone seeking to bring more love into their life – starting with self-love.

It is an opportunity to truly meet yourself intimately in loving acceptance at all levels, unconscious, archetypal and outer.  It is a chance to free yourself from projections and contamination between levels and open to the emotional maturity and loving relationship that has eluded you up to now.

Check out the full details here.