How do you care for yourself when strong feelings arise. In such situations, the inner feminine may go into overwhelm or the inner masculine into a defensive denial. Both are fear reactions. Often you swing between the two.
Do you recognize that? How do you move forward from there?
Take away the drama
What is called for is to take away the drama. Children, including our inner child aspect, tend to think in highly dramatic black and white terms. Thoughts such as, “it’s terrible,” “it’s horrible”, I can’t stand it,” I can’t cope,” – These are your inner child taking. The same is true of, “I must,” “I need” and other imperatives.
“We are disturbed not by things, but by the view which we take of them.”
(Epictetus – Greek philosopher)
Start with the truth. Be fully aware of the objective facts of the situation and your thoughts, feelings and actions in relation to those facts. Fully accept both the situation and your response. You can’t really do anything else. Things are as they are.
Offer your inner child a new perspective
Then find your clear headed, rational adult aspect and talk gentle to your inner child. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a frightened child, enquiring about their feelings and thoughts and acknowledging them. Gently, offer your inner child an alternative perspective and help them to see reason and let go of drama. Always talk kindly to yourself, but never, never lie to a child, your inner child included. Start with the truth and stay with the truth.
You know what needs to be done
Start with the truth and finish with action. In almost all situations, however difficult, you know what needs to be done. It is the overwhelm of that inner little girl or the denial of that inner little boy that stops you doing what needs to be done.
Accept your feelings and do what needs to be done regardless of how you are feeling. Appropriate action can transform your feelings. This is true magic.
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Authors - Kalyani Ma Mukti and Nick Hudis
"The words Inner Union describe the incredible sense of wholeness, balance and power that results from the unification of the two aspects of your being, the feminine and the masculine. The practice of Inner Union is the healing and growing of a self-loving relationship with yourself.
This is something we feel passionate about, so much so that it is the foundation we have built our lives, and our relationship on. Together we have almost 60 years of experience in healing work and spiritual practice. We have worked together offering retreats and workshops in France and in Europe as well as one to one coaching since 2010. Kalyani is French, Nick is English. We offer all our work bilingually"
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